10/16/2017 6 Comments ME TOOIn 1998 I was violently assaulted after a party in college. I told no one for years. Reason: I thought it was my fault. I was 22. In 2001 I was harassed at work through inappropriate messages and emails. I went to HR. It continued. I didn't complain about it again. Reason: I thought it was my fault. I was 25. In 2002 rumors of my sexual history were common talk around the office. I didn't complain, I stopped socializing with people at work. Reason: I thought it was my fault. I was 26. In 2015 I sat in a room with a male peer and a male subordinate. The peer only spoke with the man, only looked at the man. It was my meeting. I cried in my office later that day. I told other women. It happened to them too. We complained to HR. It stopped, for a while. I was 39. From 16 until 39 I was leered at, my breasts were talked to, and I was subject to inappropriate comments about my attire and cleavage. I never complained. Reasons: I thought it was my fault, I didn't want to embarrass anyone. I had a breast reduction at 39. It didn't stop. In 2017 I wrote about my experiences. I didn't name names. Reasons: I don't want to embarrass anyone, I still think it's my fault, I worry no one will believe me now, I think it's too late. I am 41. It happened to me too, and I still can't point the finger. It took a New York Times article to get some of the most powerful women in Hollywood to come forward. How can we make it easier for women to tell their story? This movement helps. Maybe next time it happens I will name names, maybe, if we keep telling our stories, it will stop happening. Image credit: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-should-you-take-workplace-harassment-seriously-harleen-kaur/
6 Comments
Wendy Lowenthal
10/16/2017 10:55:11 am
I'm so glad you shared your story, please continue to share it far and wide… It's not your fault!
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Barbara Shafer
10/16/2017 11:39:55 am
Your story breaks my heart. I wish I could go back in time to let you know that it was never your fault. I wish that I had been your voice then. I am so sorry that you have had to carry this pain for so many years but I am so proud of you for sharing it now. Your truth is the result of courage and strength. You, my love, inspire so many others to be able to do so too.
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Melanie Kidder
10/16/2017 04:49:42 pm
Thanks for sharing Betsy. Definitely not your fault and very brave to speak out.
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Laura Cardinal
10/16/2017 09:15:24 pm
You are brave and that is all you. Thank you for being an example for all of us about speaking our truth. And it’s not too late. Ever.
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AuthorBetsy Vernon is the founder of Just B. Consulting ArchivesCategoriesAll Burnout Career Change Career Coach Coaching Just B. Consulting |